Day Forty-Three(Counting Down) The Rules Apply To Me Too.

I did my first weigh-in today:
Two week calorie deficit:15,500 calories
Expected weight loss: 4.4 pounds
Actual weigh loss 4 pounds
Begin weight 193 % 20% bodyfat (155# lean)
End weight 189 @ 19% bodyfat (153# lean)

This protocol of attempted huge caloric deficits did not work. I lost 50% lean and 50% bodyfat, which is unacceptable. I was unable to keep going with the huge deficits. I got viciously spun down and performance started falling very far down.

I realized recently that, for various reasons, I have engaged in a lot of negative self-talk lately, and have really not been rational about many things, one being my health, fatness, etc.

I went back and looked over this blog to see what really worked. I came across the collage above, showing:

12.12.05 210 lbs 30% bodyfat 147 lean
12.12.06 181 lbs 18% bodyfat 148.5 lean
11.01.07 171 lbs 14% bodyfat 147 lean
11.15.07 168 lbs 13% bodyfat 146 lean

And this picture, taken today of me at 189 lbs 19% bodyfat, 153 lean.

While I am not thrilled with my physique just now, it is worth remembering that I still have 46 pounds less fat than when I started this journey and 19 pounds more of vastly more functional muscle. I don't have a photo, but I got the bod pod reading of 36% bodyfat in Spring 2005. I was obese.

I would very much like to get back down to where I was, and I have been beating myself up for being old, fat, over the hill, etc, but the fact is: I am only 42 and my PEAK lifetime fitness was at 41 years old. This is like a 23 year old moaning that they are not in the shape they were at when they were 21. I would laugh at them. Today I almost gave up on the WOD, when it became clear my performance was going to be nothing special. Terrible attitude. I have to go through mediocre WODs to push back into advanced territory.

Anyway, looking at it rationally, rather than bemoan what I have lost, I should be thankful it is still possible to get back there or even improve. Plus I am stronger than I was at 168 pounds, by A LOT (like 80-90 pounds more on deadlift) and have even pulled some new records lately (309 FGB a long-time goal).

So. I have a couple of resolutions:

1: Recognize and interrupt negative self-talk.
2: Don't be a pussy. Work through hard WODs and accept them for what they are.
3: Use what worked: Regular WOD schedule, 17 blocks + .5x fat. Extra workouts if they feel good, as I wish to do them.

Calories In:
Calories Out:

Food sources: meat, vegetables, fruit, dairy, nuts, seeds.

Supplement sources:
Met-RX Protein Plus,
Arimatest
Hexaghen
Arson
Fish Oil
Multi
Black Powder.

WOD 1: Norcal Qualifier WOD 1 (scaled)

Row 500 Meters
30 burpees
10 overhead anyway anyhow 155# (RX was 165).

8:34

Thanks so much to my team for pushing me to finish this. Slap me if I fucking whine about the WOD again.